2nd Christmas day in Germany... December 26th 2009

My thoughts are going crazy right now. I just finished my grandma's "book of life" or "a book of her life" and I am pretty touched and a bit sad too. It is such a wonderful and special gift to me because I do love my grandma very much and I have always been very close to her. She is going to be 75 years old on December 31 and reading all those stories about her and my loved one's makes me miss them.
My cousin and my grandma made this book together this year and they printed it too. It looks awesome and has so many wonderful pictures in there, some I haven't even seen before. I love it and it is definitely my most precious christmas gift. :)
One picture that made me pretty sad is of my grandpa. It is taken the day before he passed away (over 7 1/2 years ago) and I never saw it before. I was on my mission when he died and it was hard but I know I am going to see him again.
The last time I saw him was April 2nd 2002 (a month before he passed on). I came over to say good bye to him and my grandma before leaving for the MTC. I remember hugging him, starting to walk away (he had been very ill with cancer at that time) and when I turned back, I saw him crying. I never saw him crying before so that was so hard for me. Just writing about it makes me very emotional but I want to share with everyone how dear he was to me.
What a blessing it is to have the knowledge I have. I am so grateful that I know that I will see him (and my other grandpa as well) again. I am grateful that I have a wonderful family and in-law-family and that I know even when we die, we will be together again. Life isn't over after death and I know that I am a daughter of God. It isn't just that I learn that in church I feel it in my heart.
I had been feeling kind of depressed and disappointed today even a bit angry about things that happened in the past fewe weeks. But after reading my grandma's story I realized that none of these things really matter. What matters is, that I know that I have a wonderful family, that I know that God loves me and that he is there for me whenever I need him (especially during hard and tough times) and that I can do anything as long as I trust in the Lord and do my part.
Life is tough and trials are no fun, but they make us stronger in the end. I have to admit I miss my family like crazy right now but with this wonderful book I feel even more closer to each and one of them.
I am so grateful for the Christmas season when we get to reflect on those most important things in life and family is definitely one of it.
One of my favorite quotes say's it all: "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it!"

Sonntag 20.12.09 4. Advent...

Ist es nicht erstaunlich, wie viele selbsuechtige und ungerechte Menschen es gibt? Es gibt nichts was mich mehr aergert und aufregt als wenn mir ein sogannter Freund/in meint mich entweder unter Druck setzen zu muessen, oder aber sich das Recht heraus nimmt mir ihre Meinung zu sagen aber sofort beleidgt ist wenn man etwas erwidert. :( Nichts nervt mich mehr und ich habe es satt. Im Augenblick muss ich mich leider wieder mit so etwas herumaergern und es gibt mir im wahrsten Sinne des Wortes Magenschmerzen. :( Ich kann es einfach nicht leiden und ich bin auch nicht gewillt mir das bieten zu lassen. Ich finde es einfach nur aetzend das manche nur sich selbst und ihren eigenen Vorteil im Auge haben dabei sollte es doch wohl "gleiches Recht fuer alle sein", oder? :O

Aber es gibt auch schoenes zu berichten, zum Beispiel sind wir jetzt gerade bei meiner Schwiegerfamilie und das ist wirklich nett. Wir sind gestern den ganzen Tag gefahren und haben mit 3 Pausen (2x tanken) gut 12 Stunden gebraucht. Ist natuerlich eine lange Strecke, aber unsere Jungs haben super mitgemacht und auch unsere Josie hat das alles prima ueberstanden. Hier ist es schoen winterlich kalt und hier und da liegt auch noch Schnee und so kommt doch endlich etwas mehr Weihnachtsstimmung auf. :)
Mein kleiner Neffe wurde heute gesegnet und er ist ja so ein niedliches kleines Kerlchen. Er sieht seinem Papa wie aus dem Gesicht geschnitten aus und hat das gleiche Laecheln wie seine grosse Schwester. Im Augenblick sind alle bei den Eltern meiner Schwaegerin aber da unser Nathan doch ganz schoen durch den Wind ist, bin ich mit ihm zurueck nach Hause gefahren um hier ein wenig Ruhe zu geniessen. Da auch meine Schwaegerin eine grosse Familie hat ist da natuerlich eine Menge los und ich muss zugeben, ich geniesse die Entspannung hier.

Ansonsten war in der letzten Woche viel los. Ich bin 3x nach LA zu einem Casting gefahren und werde langsam zur geuebten Fahrerin. Auch als wir hier her gefahren sind, habe ich den ersten Teil der Strecke uebernommen und bis Las Vegas bin ich gefahren. Ja, ja ich mache mich und darueber bin ich sehr stolz. :)
Freitagabend hatten wir noch eine Gemeindeweihnachtsfeier und auch das war sehr nett gewesen. Muss allerdings zugeben, dass ich Treffen in kleineren Gruppen bevorzuge. ;)

Josh und Nathan freuen sich sehr hier bei Oma und Opa sein zu koennen. Sie geniessen auch die Aufmerksamkeit ihrer juengsten Onkel und erfreuen sich an den ganzen Spielsachen die hier noch sind.
Josie verfolgt den armen Hund meiner Schwiegereltern wie verrueckt. Aber sie haelt auch gebuehrenden Abstand vor ihm. Habe gerade beobachtet, wie sie immer stehenblieb wenn er stehenblieb und wenn er weiter ging, ging auch sie langsam weiter. Ich frage mich manchmal was in den Tieren so vor sich geht. :)

Dann will ich mal wieder nach meinem Sohn sehen. Im Augenblick scheint er lieb mit Autos zu spielen, aber das kann sich jederzeit sehr aendern. Kinder sind ja sehr schnell und ganz besonders wenn es ums Bloedsinn machen geht. :)

Tuesday December 8th 2009...

What can I say, I know I am a slacker and I know I suck at writing at my blog sometimes but guess what, I do have a life and so sometimes there are just other things more important...

like playing Farm Ville on Facebook or Pet Society... hahahahahahaha ok that was a super lame excuse. ;)

I still can't get over the fact that we have December already. It is sooooooooo crazy and even though I love Christmas season I am always a bit sad when it actually approaches because it means it is almost over. :( Oh well I am still trying to enjoy this wonderful time of the year.

I just took a new pictures of our boys. Sadly Nathan had his fingers in the door when Josh was closing it so he wasn't very cooperative with me taking a picture so you get to see him how he acts when he has one of his fits moments. ;) He is such a stubborn little guy and it is always a fight here who is more stubborn, him or me. I think I am winning most of the time. ;)

Besides that I keep running into some weird people while shopping on base. Just this past Friday I went to the Commissary by myself with the boys and I had a huge shopping cart full of groceries. They told me where to go and as I was about to put my groceries down so they could start scanning it, an older lady pulled up from the other side (the exit side I might add) and started putting her stuff infront of mine. :( She didn't care that I was there not that she acknowledged the fact that I was waiting there with 2 little kids. NO she only cared about herself and don't you dare think she hurried up either. No even though she only had a few little things (and I still don't know where she came from and where she got that stuff) she started talking on her cellphone. Man I was so mad and I had to bite my tongue real good not to say anything rude to her. But I figured if I would do so I would not be better than her because her behavior was more than rude. What a selfish person!!!! As soon as she was "finally" gone the girl who packed the groceries in bags appologized a few times and so did the lady who scanned everything. I told them it wasn't their fault and I could totally see on their faces as well that they were pretty irritated by that lady.

I am beginning to wonder if I need to learn more patience and that's why I keep running into strange people? Man some people are just so full of themselves. Let's hope there is not another time coming up because I don't know how much longer I can tame my temper. ;)

And then yesterday we had to take our Van back to the Shop since the shifting still gives us a hard time. This is #3 at the shop and I am really fed up now. Once they finally fixed this problem we will never return there because they suck!!!!! But since they changed the transmission and we paid a butt-load of money they have to fix the problem first before we can take it somewhere else. :( AHHHHHHHHHHHH cars and repair shop people for some reason I don't think it is a very good combination. ;) Well maybe some time in the future I will actually find a good repair shop.

But I am not all negative I promise. I will have some good thoughts again soon. Good thing I do keep my dry sense of humor so I can either laugh or make fun of the crazy things in life. And tomorrow I have my next acting class again and that is always something to look forward to. I actually have an audition coming up this Saturday so we will see how that goes.

Life is crazy, crazy, crazy but I love it (besides selfish people and not-good-at-their-job-repair-shop-people) :D!!!!!